Saddam Hussein wrote a romance novel in 2000, it's on Amazon and your partner really wants a copy for Valentines Day.
In 2000, Iraqi regime leader Saddam Hussein decided that he hadn't quite branched out enough into the arts and set out to write a thoroughly steamy romance novel with a thinly-veiled premise. Zabiba and the King is described as "an allegorical love story between a mighty king (Saddam) and a simple, yet beautiful commoner named Zabiba (the Iraqi people). Zabiba is married to a cruel and unloving husband (the United States) who forces himself upon her against her will. This act of rape is compared to the United States invasion of Iraq." and the person who's listing it online takes great pains to say that the Hussein family won't receive any money from the sale of the book... which is good to know.

The book is set in the mid-600's to early 700's and actually turned into an overnight best seller in Iraq. The book even became an on-stage musical production in Baghdad, which is pretty much my favourite fact of all time. One of the best scenes in the book involves a surprisingly graphic sex scene between a shepherd and a bear (supposed to represent the relationship between Iraq and Russia) that is absolutely begging to be turned into a 50 Shades-esque film series.
The book is apparently only one of four that Hussein crafted. Others include Damned One, Get Out Of Here, the story of an Arab warrior who saved his home town from a plot to revolt and overthrow the leader and Begone, Demons – a 256-page book on the struggle between the Middle East and America. Begone Demons was written just days before the US invaded Iraq, making it a fascinating piece of history but we're willing to bet it contains a whole less lot bear/shepherd sex - and who wants that? So grab a copy for your loved one this Valentines Day and show them you care.