A woman was shocked to discover that the crippling bowel disease she had lived with for six years was not in fact a disease at all. Previously the woman, aged 41, had experienced crippling abdominal pain, spasms and bloating which could go on for as long as 72 hours. Doctors diagnosed the woman with Crohn’s disease and started standard treatments but were dismayed when she didn’t respond to treatments. This forced the doctors to consider surgical alternatives.
Using keyhole surgery—where a small opening in the skin is made, a bit like a keyhole—the doctors then discovered a large mass in the woman’s intestine.
It turned out to be a large inflamed piece of small intestine. Removing it the doctors soon realised that the lump was caused by a piece of plastic that had come off a Heinz ketchup packet. Doctors now believe that the lump was an inflamed reaction to the ketchup packet piercing the woman’s intestinal wall.
Immediately after the mass was removed the woman’s symptoms stopped. The woman also has no recollection of having eaten any meal with Heinz ketchup but… c’mon. It lasted six years. There’s no way she could remember everything she ate. And, ya know, the ketchup packet was in her body so it got there somehow and eating is the most logical way for it to get there. It’s that or it went in via the bum so she has to pick one or the other. Either way, a tiny bit of a ketchup packet pierced this woman’s intestine which… frankly, it terrifies us! It absolutely terrifies us and makes us want to stay so far away from ketchup because apparently if you swallow a bit of the packet then your butt will explode and you could die.
Noooo thank you.