Bet that headline got your attention, didn’t it?
In Somerset, England, Julie Edwards was out with her Basset Hound Molly on a stroll along the beach when they stumbled across what appeared to be a severed human penis (pictured above). Police have since investigated the possibility that human remains are washing ashore but, strangely enough, the experts remain baffled.
There have been weeks and weeks of tests and yet the object remains unidentified. Police have currently closed the case which has left everyone a little confused since everyone seems weirdly confident that it is NOT a human penis, but they themselves admit they still don't know what it is.
The public, however, have a lot of suggestions about what they think it is.
This includes all manner of sea life such as cockles, barnacles, winkles, a Portuguese man o’ war, or maybe even just an old sock. Our personal favourite suggestion is that it’s actually a giant geoduck clam. Why? Well, just look.
What does he remind you of?
Admit it, that looks an awful lot like a dong, right? It’s pretty believable that if that washed up without a shell you too might mistake it for a severed human penis. Not to mention that a severed human penis that had been bobbing up and down in the sea for God-knows-how-long wouldn’t look none too fresh, so you should be able to appreciate why anyone could mistake it for a half-rotten severed penis.
Plus you’d figure that if it really was a severed human penis that someone would have mentioned the fact that their penis was no longer attached, right? Like that person would definitely need a trip to the hospital at the very least. Or maybe they’re dead of blood loss, slowly floating down into the murky depths of the Somerset sea as aquatic wildlife tears chunks out of them?
Or maybe it’s just a sock.