I’m in my early twenties, I have a job and I live with my boyfriend and our cats in our own place. This apparently makes me an adult. I’m really not happy about this and I rebel against it in the smallest, crappiest ways.
I still hate them. I pick the lettuce out of my McDonald’s burgers and I don’t trust side salad… like, who looks at a huge plate of delicious meat and thinks it’s okay to add three limp pieces of lettuce and a cherry tomato? I’ll be charitable if someone else has cooked for me and eat one of each vegetable on my plate but I like myself too much to finish a whole spoonful of peas. This life choice kinda means I’m constantly tired and weak but hey, no big deal. Screw veg.
I earn it, I spend it. I cannot manage my finances for shit and at the end of every month I’m eating soup and sobbing into Tesco Basics family bags of plain pasta. Why is it that every pay day I’m going out buying cocktails and telling my friends we can ‘just put on my card’ because I think I’m a Real Housewife? I do not need to treat myself. If you treat yourself every day, it ain’t a treat no mo’
Every single goddamn night I do nothing but still stay up way too late. It’s unbelievable how long I can lie there doing literally nothing apart from thinking about what a bad idea lying there doing nothing at 2am is. Maybe I’ll scroll through Twitter, maybe I’ll look at rare sea urchins or maybe I’ll think about every time I’ve fallen over in public and how probably everyone laughs about it when I’m not there. Who knows? Each night is a mystery. But I can tell you for sure that I’ll be awake being a shitty adult.
Honestly, every family member at every gathering ever, I don’t know if I want kids. I’m barely keeping my shit together with just myself to look after and babies are SO much harder. They need feeding, washing and a boatload of patient that I just do not have. I don’t even want to think about kids but when you reach the age your parents were at when they had you the dread creeps in. Am I leaving it too late? Am I going to be the oldest mom on the playground gasping pushing my kids on the swings? But if I have kids now, what if that stops me from going on kick ass holidays and taking opportunities with my work? THE STRESS.
In College, my friends were the most important thing. We were all together constantly and I would have done anything for them. Now in the real world… not so much. If I’ve just worked a ten hour day and you ask if I want to come for food the answer is no. I will flake on you constantly or just flat out say no. Downtime is all about me lying on my couch or in my bed trying to ignore my responsibilities and being a productive human with an active social life is right down the bottom of my list. I still love you, can’t we just see each other like three times a year? When I’ve eaten some vegetables and had a good night’s sleep, so I can pretend to be really enthusiastic about the minute changes in your life since we last spoke.