Death by Atomic Wedgie
If your childhood was anything like mine, wedgies were your bread and butter. Staple instruments used to inflict pain on siblings and friends across the playground, always striving for that ultimate wedgie. The wedgie that got all the way up over someone’s head. Well 34 year old Oklahoma City native Brad Davis managed to pull the wedgie of a lifetime up around his stepdad’s head and straight up killed him through asphyxiation. He’s currently serving a prison sentence for first-degree manslaughter so let this be a cautionary tale to all of us.
The Dead Body in the Hotel Room
We’ve all heard this one on a horror movie or told as a Totally-True-I-Swear story from a friend of a friend. A couple check into a hotel room, lie down on their nice king size bed and start to... enjoy each other’s company. All of a sudden a particularly jerky movement dislodges a rotting body from underneath the bed that rolls out and everyone screams. Classic. Except this one is actually true and has happened more than once. In 2010 a body was found stuffed into the bedframe of a Tennessee hotel room and serial killer Richard Kuklinski once strangled a man and folded him away into a mattress in New Jersey.
This one even made it as far as Hollywood, with spurned lovers all over the world wondering if they were actually mad enough that they’d kill and cook their ex boyfriend’s stick insect. The answer was usually no, but for determined Crazy Ex-Boyfriend Ryan Eddy Watenpaugh of Palo Cedro, California there was no better idea. Ryan was, for all intents and purposes, a total POS of a boyfriend and when his girlfriend finally got tired of his abuse and left he decided to take some deeply unhinged revenge in the form of his exes Pomeranian dog, Bear. He invited his old partner over for dinner to move past their issues and later than night sent her three of the craziest texts I’ve ever seen.
Yep, he was even kind enough to give her back Bear’s tiny little paws in a brown paper bag on her doorstep. The even worse news is that I can’t find out what happened in the trial so this story is grim and completely unfulfilled. Sorry…
Real Halloween Decorations
Picture the scene. Its five days from Halloween in Delaware, 2005, and you’re driving to work. Seasonal spookiness is well under way and you spot a body hanging from a tree in a fully public spot in the middle of town. You write it off as a pretty dark prank and go about your day, as do thousands of other people who drive right past on their commute to work only to find out (after someone finally called the police) that the body was real. Yep, morbid stuff.
Drugged Halloween Candy
It seems like I owe my grandma an apology. In 2014 an 8-year-old girl managed to prove all of the bullshit viral Facebook posters right by actually going home from a Trick or Treating session having picked up tiny plastic bag of crystal meth in Hercules, California. Luckily her parents were going through her candy before she had any, probably picking out all the best things for themselves, and spotted the .1 grams before she could guzzle it down like Pop Rocks.