A German man has been rushed to hospital after getting his penis stuck in a disk weight. The 2.5kg exercise aid was wrapped firmly around his member and risked cutting the blood supply off entirely. If you don’t know why that’s a bad thing, we would like to introduce you to the following:
If you cut something’s blood supply off, it drops off. Just that simple. The above picture shows two lambs with rubber rings around their tails. A trick farmers and dog breeders use to eliminate the extremity without the need for surgery. Just a recap: tie something around a limb so tight it cuts off the blood, and that limb will fall off. So, now that we have a firm understanding of why having your penis’ blood supply cut off is a danger. We introduce you to the final piece of the puzzle.
Good news is it didn’t drop off because firefighters came to the rescue with a grinder (ouch) and a vibrating saw (ouch!!). They used the specialist equipment to remove the weight and took photos for training purposes. Somehow those pictures were leaked. A fact which has prompted an investigation. We at DigZoo can save those investigators time and money because we know exactly how those pictures were leaked. They were leaked to the sound of hysterical laughter because no one, no one, can find something like this and not immediately share it with their mates.
The above picture was also part of the leak and shows what happened to the weight. We hope the guy who was stuck in this thing had the common sense to take a picture too because he can now truthfully tell people that his penis and a 2.5kg steel weight once had a fight, and this is what happened to the weight. He’d be leaving a few steps out… but it’s technically true.
Officials have gone on to say that they don’t know how the man’s penis became stuck but once again DigZoo are here to save the day because we know exactly how.
He put his penis in it when his penis was smaller than the hole, got excited, his penis became bigger than the hole, and he was doomed from that moment on. Why do men do this? No one will ever know. History has taught us that men can and will get stuck in things like park benches, car exhausts, coke cans (ow!!!!), rocks, trees and now, exercise equipment.
Just remember – never ever stick your penis in an inanimate hole made of a material that you can't break apart with your hands.