A United Airlines (ha! Those guys again) flight was forced to divert from its route from Hong Kong to Chicago and stop in Alaska after a man ruined two toilets by taking a seriously epic poo. That, by the way, is a crappy reason to delay a plane! *giggles* Sorry, that was a terrible pun, we couldn’t help ourselves.
The man is currently undergoing psychiatric evaluation after the plane landed in Alaska when it emerged he had taken the two toilets out of commission by smearing poo all over the walls, ceiling, sink and… well pretty much anything that could have poo smeared on it. He also stripped his shirt off and tried flushing it down the toilet which resulted in a blockage.
The man was not arrested because he cooperated with staff and police when the plane landed although police have mentioned that he did not speak English and was travelling on a Vietnamese passport despite being a permanent US resident. Stranger still, when they got a translator in to help speak to him, the translator reported that the man’s speech was essentially nonsense that couldn’t be translated and didn’t make sense in any language.
The man was then taken to a nearby hospital where he is currently being evaluated by mental health professionals.
Personally, we here at DigZoo are slightly suspicious that this man had the world’s most devastating sh*t and just decided to play along. Imagine, if you will, that you took a crap so bad, so explosively liquid and messy, that it smeared its way up the walls.
Desperate to clean it up you strip off and start using your shirt to clean it up but alas, it’s not good enough! Suddenly the doors open and you’re left standing there, mouth open, shirtless and smeared in crap. What do you do?
You pretend you don’t speak English and that you don’t know what the f*ck is going on, and when men in white robes turn up to take you to a rubber you don’t break the illusion! No no. You just go along with it. You nod and smile and hope, for the love of God himself, that they cart you away before anyone starts to record your face. That’s what you do.
Or at least, that’s what I’d do.