Just give me a minute. I’ll get to it. Just give me a minute. You already know the gist because you’ve read the headline so just give me a minute, okay? I need to get to grips with this and it isn’t easy.
I think I’m okay.
So fifteen teenagers have been treated for rabies after they all had sex with an infected donkey. After realising the donkey was infected they were quickly rushed to hospital by their families who reacted with ‘distress and horror’.
I also reacted with distress and horror and it wasn’t even my kids who did it.
It actually gets worse because experts suspect that there may have been more kids involved. They think this because not only have a large number of parents taken their children to hospitals outside the region—clearly trying to avoid humiliation—but another number have also sought out vaccinations for rabies. This suggests that a lot more of these village adolescents are boning livestock than they’re willing to admit.
Rabies, in case you’re wondering, is a serious disease. Treatments have to occur early and if they don’t, well… it’s not just the donkey who’s f*cked, let’s put it like that. If you don’t get the right treatment before the infection takes hold there is no known treatment, and it is almost always fatal in humans. The disease causes a swollen brain and inflammation of the nervous system and over a period of around three months the infected individual develops a bizarre phobia of water and can become hostile and violent to those around them before eventually dying from the illness.
It’s not something you want.
Let’s hope this acts as a lifelong lesson to those involved, and as a grand warning to all those with temptations that lean towards donkey-relations.
Don’t. F*ck. Donkeys.
Or any animal for that.
Just stick to consenting, conscious, adult humans over the age of eighteen.