The internet is filled with silly facts that are so addictive and fun to read. They can make you chuckle, blow your mind, or just make you look at something old in a new way. There’s something rewarding about a little ping of random information. Well, most of the time they can be rewarding. Some facts and little tidbits can actually do the opposite. They can make you re-think the world for all the wrong reasons and the internet is *filled* with them. So we’ve gone out and collected all the facts that you don’t want to know. Seriously, you don’t.
But you’re going to click anyway, aren’t you?
At least you can gross out your friends with them.
1. Entomologists and Allergies
Did you know that entomologists (scientists who study insects) that work with cockroaches become allergic to them? It’s because their body is constantly exposed to cockroach particles and their immune system goes haywire, so they become allergic. But that’s not the gross part. The gross part is that they also become allergic to things like coffee. Why? Well their body only becomes sensitive to cockroach particles, so if they’re reacting to a bag of coffee, well it means there’s a butt-load of cockroach in that coffee.
So uh, enjoy your morning cup of coffee. Now you know there’s some cockroach in there.
2. Angry Squid Semen
No one wants to start their day with squid semen but here we are. So let’s get into the science straight off; Squid release little sacs of their sperm called spermatophores. These are little white wriggly worms that go ‘poof’ into the water in a big white cloud where they wriggle to the girl squid and release the sperm safely. Most of the time that’s what happens.
Most of the time.
Some of the time, like say when someone is eating calamari that wasn’t properly prepared, they go ‘poof’ inside a person’s mouth where they burrow into the skin of the mouth and release their little packets of squid sperm. This occurred to one poor woman who ate her calamari, heard a loud pop, felt stinging pain, spat the squid out, but noticed the pain didn’t go away! A quick look revealed her mouth was lined with burrowing white insect-like worms which were… *drum roll* squid sperm.
3. Brain Eating Insects Exist
Say hello to the Botfly. Be warned, if you google that name, you will see disgusting things. What is the botfly? It’s a fly whose maggots burrow into the skin of mammals and develop there before falling out to live their life elsewhere. Most of the time that means there’s a little hole and the botfly maggot can stick its little head out to say hello (this is every bit as disgusting as you think). This, on its own, is absolutely grotesque and the internet is full of pictures of animals and people whose skin is full holes with little maggot heads popping out once in a while to see what’s going on.
But it still gets worse. You see sometimes the skin of that hole will heal and the maggot gets stuck in there forever. Rather than starve it resorts to eating its host when it can’t escape. It burrows deeper and just keeps eating. Yes, that picture above is real, and yes, it’s what happens if the botfly burrows into your head and the hole heals.
4. Don’t Push Too Hard
There’s no easy way to say this… You can poop your intestines out during weightlifting. Yup. Pretty much that sentence. We’ll say it again. Sometimes, the sheer strain of lifting heavy weights causes people to poop so hard that they poop their insides out. The more scientific explanation is that the strain causes the individual to experience an anal prolapse but uh, that doesn’t actually make it sound any less weird or gross. It’s also worth mentioning that some people experience really, really, bad prolapses. So bad their intestines come out.
5. Bed Bugs Don’t Just Live in Beds
The image kind of gives this one away, doesn’t it? Anyway, for those of you haven’t made the connection, you can get bed-bugs from movie theatre seats. Oh yes. Those things you visit regularly, that we all sit on, and that must contain more germs than a public bathroom and whose spongey insides have absorbed more farts than a fat guy’s office chair, can also have bed-bugs. Honestly, it’s gross enough to even think of just how many butts regularly sit and fart on these things after eating a pound of buttery popcorn, but when it dawns on you that they can be holding colonies of nasty, itchy, infectious little critters it’s just too much to bear. This is one of those facts we’ve had to repress, lest we never visit the cinema again.
6. Seriously Serial
How many serial killers do you think there are in America right now? Like how common are serial killers exactly? Maybe one a year? Or a few every five years? When you hear about serial killers they tend to be surprisingly rare, right? Like it’s not every day that you hear about someone like Ted Bundy getting caught, so you’d assume that there aren’t actually that many around. Well, unfortunately, that’s not true. A recent FBI study put the estimate at about 15 to 25 active serial killers in the US at any given time. If that sounds like a lot, it’s because it is. The main reason you don’t hear about serial killers is because there’s so many they actually have to do something really special to get written about. Frightening…
7. They know…
So we all know that the government spies on us, right? That’s something we’re all aware of as consenting well-informed adults? Good. We also know that if you’re using a service and it’s free, then the product being sold is you, yeah? That Google, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Apple, Whatsapp, Snapchat and any others you can think of make money by selling your data to advertisers who like to know everything they can about you and your habits. This is something that’s a bit gross, but we’ve all come to accept it. How about this though – Facebook is allowed to record all sound and video from an Android phone at any given time, without any warning, and without permission. Why? They won’t say, which only makes it creepier. But if you’ve agreed to Facebook’s Terms and Conditions and you own an Android well, you better watch what you say around it because it’s listening!
8. Your Burger Had a BFF
This one’s just gonna make you sad, so be warned. Recent scientific studies have revealed that cows have best-friends. And--this is how we know they have best-friends--they become extremely upset, stressed and unhappy if separated from their friends for any amount of time. So that burger you just ate? Yeah, it probably led a richer inner-life than you were led to believe. It had friends. Friends who will miss it now that it’s been slammed into your mouth sandwiched between two buns with some lettuce and mayonnaise. So… yeah, just try not to think too hard about a bunch of sad cows wondering where Garry went next time you enjoy a steak.