The Stardust Valley in Arizona has acquired worldwide fame for being at the centre of a constant stream of alleged alien activity. It has been featured in documentaries and TV shows all over the world along with its owners the Edmonds. But after over twenty years of living on the ranch the duo are finally fed up and looking to sell their nine-acre slice-of-Mars for $6 million (what a bargain!).
Well, the aliens of course. Mr Edmonds, who initially bought the ranch to run a horse-rescue charity, has spent decades reporting on his strange encounters of the third kind. These include almost weekly attempts at abduction and experimentation, and of course his fascinating attempts at fighting back.
So, how does an everyday man fight back against malevolent cosmological forces intent on exploring his anal cavity?
With a samurai sword!
“Unless you cut the head off and disconnect the antennae, so to speak, they instantly ‘phone home.’ Even with a razor-sharp sword, it is nearly impossible to decapitate them with one swing,” he wrote in a Facebook post, making his day-to-day life sound like a cross between John Wick and ET.
No wonder he’s looking to sell. Not everyone can be a guardian against extra-terrestrial incursion and it only makes sense that the current guy wants to tap out after two decades of standing firm in the face of grey-fingered probes.
The good news is that if you’re willing to endure a life where you have to regularly fight aliens with a samurai sword then the ranch can be yours for the low-low figure of $6 million. And it’s not just the alien menace on hand, there’s a swimming pool and a house with five bedrooms and nine lovely acres. Do you know how many bear traps and land-mines you can lay in nine acres?
Enough to kill a lot of aliens.
So really, when you think about just how many aliens you could kill, $6 million is a bargain.
On a final note let’s leave with a word of warning from the current owner,
“It’s not something for a traditional family, but it holds a lot of secrets and what I believe are future opportunities to understand forces that are in the universe. Please be very well grounded because the energy here has the tendency to manifest with whatever is going on with you.”
So there you have it. A ranch sold by a man who claims to have killed 19 aliens with a samurai sword.
What a time to be alive.