So, during a recent questionnaire, 1000 people revealed a pretty embarrassing belief. The study was organised by the Innovation Center of US Dairy (I bet the party never stops in their office) and revealed that 7% of the people asked thought that chocolate milk came from brown cows. We would like to reiterate that 7% of 1000 people believed that chocolate milk was made by milking brown cows. And just to clarify, these are grown ass adults. Not children. Not teenagers. No. All people asked were over 18, and 7% (that’s nearly one in ten by the way) believe that you get chocolate milk by milking a brown cow.
So, a lot of places will tell you that nearly 10% of American adults believe this. That’s a lie. Only 1000 people were asked which is nowhere near enough to represent the roughly 300,000,000,000 people who live in the US. So let’s just put that idea to bed right now. Asking 1000 people a question and then acting like it applies to everyone else who’s ever lived is stupid. I could ask 1000 people at an Insane Clown Posse concert what they think of the Insane Clown Posse and get a 100% approval rating for the Insane Clown Posse, it doesn’t mean everyone else feels the same.
But it is worth repeating that 70 adults in this sample did believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows. First of all, that’s 70-too-many. Second of all, there is no reason to think that the 1000 people asked were insane or weird or especially stupid. In other words, it may be way more normal to think this stupid thing than you think.
While nowhere near as shocking, another 48% revealed they have no idea where chocolate milk comes from.
We’ve also gotta ask, why would a brown cow be chocolate flavoured? Like why would you even think that? I mean, it kind of seems like these people think all brown things taste like chocolate and that’s gotta be a dangerous way to live your life. “Oh a tree with brown bark! That must taste like chocolate!” they say, only to be disappointed seconds later (also a trip to any toilet, ever, would be a very risky affair). Also, wouldn’t brown cows make chocolate beef so wouldn’t there be chocolate beef everywhere?
Dammit this idea is so insanely stupid it’s hurting our head.
Do you know anyone this stupid? Or, God forbid, do you want to confess your shame and admit that you believed this too? Are you one of the secret 7% who think there are fields filled with brown cows for chocolate milk, pink cows for strawberry, and white cows for vanilla? Do you believe that brown eggs make chocolate cakes? Feel free to confess your stupidity in the comments below.