So recently the CIA released a batch of the files found on Osama Bin Laden’s computer (recovered during the infamous raid that resulted in his death) and it’s… pretty weird. Maybe it’s just because you might expect him to only have files named things like “death-to-infidels.txt” or “plan-to-blow-up-America.jpg” but there’s something unsettling about the following list of things found on his hard drive. It's hard to describe why it's so weird, you'll just have to see for yourself.
Let's begin.
1. Torrented Children’s Movies
So, terrorist killers are partial to a bit of wholesome family fun as well, it seems, because Bin Laden’s hard drive was stacked full of films such as Chicken Little, Antz, and The Three Musketeers. Now, we don’t want to draw conclusions, but they were all illegally torrented. Was this because Blockbuster went down? Was it because Pakistan didn’t have a healthy video-rental industry? Was it because the CIA uses Netflix and Hulu as fronts for tracking down enemies of the state and Bin Laden knew it? Who can say. But it’s still pretty damned strange to imagine Bin Laden sitting down with a cup of coffee while watching Chicken Little. Did he cheer the little guy on? Or did he watch and think, "Oh I empathise with this little chicken's plight, but only up to a point because he's still a filthy infidel and deserves to die!"
2. Final Fantasy XVII
Final Fantasy is a helluva game. It’s an instant classic in the industry and renowned for in-depth gameplay, gripping story, and ridiculous volume of content. If you were locked in a dusty compound during a Pakistani summer it’d be a good choice to play. It’d certainly keep you busy with its hundreds-of-hours’ worth of content. It’s also pretty frustrating. Still, I don’t know many sixty-year-old men who’d play this game, let alone fundamentalist religious zealots who have committed mass-murder.
3. Crocheting Videos
I’m seeing a pattern here. It seems like Bin Laden was big on hobbies that most of us might associate with mind-numbing boredom and a complete lack of occupation. In fact, I’m pretty sure all of these things would be found on the computer of anyone in-between jobs. Either way, Bin Laden was big on youtube tutorials for crocheting which is just knitting with only one needle. Once again, there’s that unsettling discrepancy between the guy responsible for one of the worst acts of mass-murder in history and a sixty-year-old man sat in front of a monitor clumsily trying to find a hobby to pass the time.
4. Documentaries
Three documentaries were found that all focused on Bin Laden. Now that makes a bit more sense. You’d expect an evil sonofabitch to sit around stroking a white cat while narcissistically watching movies about himself. That is what I’d expect a mass-murderer to do. He was clearly interested in spending hours watching documentaries dedicated to his own terrible deeds because he had three (not one, not two, but three) of them on his hard drive.
He also had documentaries on Kung Fu and deadly venom which is, once again, exactly what I'd expect to find on the hard drive of someone who has way too much free time.
In conclusion, it looks like Osama was super bored and very narcissistic.
