RIP your childhood
Remember Barney, the friendly purple dinosaur of our childhoods? He loved peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, he loved marching bands and he loved all of us. Dr Barnaby Clarence Vax'ildan The Dinosaur M.D. O.B.E showed baby Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato the ropes of fame, and the show ran for 17 years from 1992 to 2009. That purple anthropomorphic Tyrannosaurus Rex was one of the most wholesome, pure and kind-hearted characters on TV... and I'm about to ruin all that for you.
David Joyner is a 54 year old actor from Decatur, Illinois. David was also the body behind the dino for a whole ten years. Apparently, he got booked for an audition in 1990 but the role went to a rival female actress who then had trouble handling the kids and had to leave the show. Joyner bounced into the Barney suit and brought his natural energy to the role, wrangling kids on a daily basis and somehow never getting irritated. Joyner explains his outlook in the role in an interview with Vice, saying “Before I got into the [Barney] costume, I would pray and ask God to allow his loving divine spirit to flow through me through the costume and let that draw the kids. That energy would always draw them in”.
Now David uses that energy for a wholly different purpose, one that ain't gonna sit too well with you. David 'Barney' Joyner is a tantra massage specialist and spiritual healer, boasting his own company that offers ritual baths, chakra balancing, and a massage. He only accepts female clients (obviously) and the aim of his $350 sessions is to release the blocked energy of women using... orgasms. David helpfully clears the whole thing up with an easy and totally understandable explanation:
“When the lingam [penis] and the yoni [vagina] meet, there’s a certain energy that takes place that hands on the body alone cannot create. Once the lingam is inside the yoni, there’s a technique where you don’t even move. You’re harmonizing spiritually and consciously, as you’re looking into each other’s eyes, and you’re feeling each other’s energy take place. This is about energy moving up. A lot of women have never really had spiritual sex.”
Joyner has come under some scrutiny after the details of his business were shared in his interview with Vice. It turns out a pivotal part of the whole tantric sex process is not wearing a condom! Great. Apparently it stops the wonderful sex energy from flowing as freely, so David doesn't use them despite the fact even porn actors have to use condoms in California. It turns out he could actually be prosecuted for prostitution, which is a reminder for all us that exchanging sex for money is still not legal in many places even if you slap a big ol' sticker on it that says something pretentious.
Stephen White was the head writer of the Barney franchise for thirteen years, and he really sums it up the best and the absolute worst with this quite I'll leave you on.... “I thought it was an interesting transition for Barney. It’s kind of still the ‘I love you, you love me’ deal, but different."