Ketchup is in its own way a pretty controversial food. It’s often seen as a child’s condiment and if you got put it on a hotdog in front of the wrong person you’re liable to get punched. You often find posh restaurants that look at you weird when you ask for ketchup, and the worst of the bunch bring you some weird little pot with nothing but a squirt of ketchup and it’s just not enough to do the job. And sometimes you get that weird friend who’ll cook but take offence if you try and use ketchup, like your smothering their delicious omelette with your uncouth working-class condiments.
And it turns out that sometimes ketchup bottles explode in restaurants. Any current or former waiters and waitresses might be familiar with this, but many restaurants have ketchup rotation. This involves swapping out one bottle of ketchup with another to prevent them exploding (seriously, I googled it, this is real). This takes hours and is a major cost for budding businesses.
Well never fear, Slice of Sauce (TM) are here to freak you out with solid slices of ketchup to avoid these problems in the future. Now you can just ask for a slice of ketchup and get the right amount, and there won’t be any more soggy bread, or dodgy spills, or ketchup rotating, and you can keep them in cupboards for years without spoiling and… and… get this… no more uneven ketchup distribution.
Now, far be it from me to put someone else’s dream down, but Ketchup slices sound like a pretty… weird idea. And not even slightly necessary. Have you struggled with any of the above problems so badly that you wish ketchup was… solid? I’ve wished for bottles that were easier to use, and I’ve wished that ketchup was easier to wipe off a white shirt, but that’s about it.
Emily Williams, the inventor of these abom… things, talks about how she discovered them after a BBQ recipe required her to braise and dry a lot of vegetables only to then discard the veggies. Emily, however, dried them out and flattened them into a solid paste. After some experimentation she soon invented solid slices of ketchup which sound suspiciously like eating the crusty bits that form around the bottle lid.
But who am I to judge?
Oh wait, I’m a person.
I’m judging this product *very* harshly. Nobody needs this in their life.