God, imagine farting so much that you grounded a plane. We once wrote about a man who grounded a flight with an enormous poo but I always suspected he might have been seriously ill, or had eaten like, 8 pounds of raw chicken. But a fart? Imagine farting so much, just emitting such a large volume of gaseous butt-stank that the pilot of a plane throws up his arms and points the plane’s nose at the nearest lump of land. A pilot… a professionally trained expert whose job is to steer a flying building travelling hundreds of miles per hour, miles up in the sky, ready for any number of emergencies. These are the people you trust to keep a cool head when one of the wings goes missing.
And someone broke one… with their arse.
That’s what happened on one Transavia flights from Dubai to Amsterdam during the week. Two Dutch-Moroccan men were sat on either side of a (I’m assuming large) man who kept farting. Apparently he sat there for hours and just farted almost non-stop, and when he was challenged over his behaviour he was “unabashed” and showed no inclination to stop. At this point the two Dutch men got a little angry and the pilot issued a warning that the passengers would need to calm down.
But the farter did not seem bothered, and he just kept farting.
If you’re going to risk flying on an airline called “Transavia”, then flatulence should be one of your lesser worries 🛬— william black (@IntelligentDeb8) 18 February 2018
Eventually the two Dutch men snapped and attacked him, and the pilot diverted the plane to the nearest airport in Vienna were the two men were removed by police. However, the airline is also being sued after two Dutch-Moroccan girls were also removed. They argue it is because they were of the same ethnicity as the two Dutch men and that they had nothing to do with the fight. The airline argues that all four individuals were responsible.
“We had nothing to do with the whole disturbance. We distance ourselves from that. ‘Do they sometimes think that all Moroccans cause problems? That’s why we do not let it sit.
“We had no idea who these boys were, we just had the bad luck to be in the same row and we didn’t do anything. All I will say is that the crew were really provocative and stirred things up.”
Still, there’s no news on the man whose arse grounded a flight. It’s hard to imagine what kind of man would sit there and fill a steel container with his ass-gas and not even act a little ashamed about it. Forcing hundreds of people to inhale your farticles is just plain cruel.