A limo driver has recently been launched (wink-wink) to internet fame after he announced his plan to be the first man to go to space in a home-made rocket. To top it off, he wants to use the opportunity to confirm once and for all that the Earth is flat, and not round.
“Mad” Mike Hughes has been a chauffeur for years and has saved up $20,000 while collecting spare parts and scrap to build his own rocket. The intention is to point it straight up and go 500m high to confirm that the Earth is flat. In his own words,
“They have not put a man in space yet. There are 20 different space agencies here in America, and I'm the last person that's put a man in a rocket and launched it.”
“John Glenn and Neil Armstrong are Freemasons," Hughes added. "Once you understand that, you understand the roots of the deception.”
It’s clear the public aren’t so keen to support him after his Kickstarter only collected $305 of its $150,000 goal. In fact, it was the lack of funds that led Hughes to the Flat Earth society as they promised to support him and his aims. Now after all that Flat-Earther money he has a steam rocket ready to take him to the skies!
Wait… a steam rocket?
Okay, right… a steam rocket. Because we presume he doesn’t want to blow up. Fair enough, we guess. His final intention is to go much higher than 500m but sure yeah, for now a steam rocket could take him where he wants to go. We’d like to point out that there are drones that can go higher than 500m. We’re not sure why life-and-death insanity needs to be involved. But whatever… I’m not arguing with a Flat-Earther. Let him risk his own crazy life.
Unfortunately two problems have caused him to delay. First of all, his motorhome-slash-launchpad broke do—
A motorhome…? That’s his launch pad.
Moving on. Another problem also hit after the government found out that he planned to launch off public land. He’s had to find a private venue now.
"This is what happens anytime you have to deal with any kind of government agency,” he told reporters, clearly angry that the government wouldn’t let him go ahead with his plans. In defence of the government, if I went home tonight and found my living room ceiling caved in by a homemade steam rocket with a dead-and-frozen madman swinging wildly from a failed parachute I’d be bloody furious. After all, what goes up must come down, and the government has every right to be concerned about him coming down in multiple pieces all over residential homes.
This close to Christmas it’d be a disaster if children looked up to see an old man in a red-vehicle coming towards their roof only to smash into it, spraying the neighbourhood with debris and chunky giblets.